One day with autism (toddler)

Introduction

My name is Liam, and I'm 3 years old. I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) since I was a baby. Living with autism means that my brain works a bit differently from many others. I experience the world with heightened sensitivity to sensory inputs like sounds, lights, and textures, and I have a deep appreciation for routines and patterns.

Although I can't speak in the way many others do, I'm sharing a glimpse into my life and the kinds of days I navigate through my thoughts. Each day comes with its own set of challenges and routines.

I follow a structured schedule that helps me manage expectations and reduces anxiety. I enjoy playing, especially with toys that allow me to dive into patterns, like my favorite toy car. However, new foods and unexpected changes can be tough. I often rely on strategies like retreating to my quiet corner and focusing on familiar objects when things get overwhelming.

Through these entries, I hope to share the ups and downs, the victories, and the challenges. Each day is a step in my journey, and I'm learning more about myself and how to thrive in a world that isn't always designed for someone like me.

One day

Today, I woke up to the familiar hum of the heater. I felt a bit overwhelmed as I woke up, and I cried. The world felt too big, too loud, too much. Mom came in and held me, her presence always helps to calm me down.

Breakfast was a struggle. Mom tried to introduce a new cereal, but it looked strange and unfamiliar. I pushed it away and cried a bit. I didn't mean to upset Mom, I just wanted my usual oatmeal. I saw a look of worry on her face, but she gave me my oatmeal and I felt better.

We went to the park after breakfast. I love the sensation of the grass under my feet and the sound of the wind rustling the leaves. But the other kids were too loud, their laughter and shouts hurt my ears. I tried to join them, to understand their games, but it was too much. I pushed one of them, not to hurt, but to understand. The other mothers looked worried, and we had to leave. I didn't mean to cause trouble, I just wanted to understand.

When we got home, I played with my favorite toy car. I like the way it moves under my control. But then, I saw Mom talking on the phone. I wanted her attention, I wanted to show her how my car moves. I pulled at her clothes, maybe a bit too hard. She looked tired and startled. I didn't mean to scare her, I just wanted to share my world with her.

Lunch was peaceful. I had my favorite grilled cheese sandwich. The familiar taste and texture made me feel safe. After lunch, I took a nap. The quietness of nap time is a welcome break from the sensory overload of the world.

In the afternoon, we did some drawing. I drew the park, the swing, and the trees. I wanted to show Mom how I see the world. She smiled, but I could see she was still worried.

Dinner was difficult. The smell of the food was too strong, it overwhelmed me. I pushed it away and cried. Mom looked tired, but she understood. She gave me some fruit instead, and I felt better.

Before bed, Mom read me a story. I like the sound of her voice, it's calming. But I could see the tiredness in her eyes. I wish I could tell her that I love her, that I don't mean to be difficult. But I can't find the words, they're too hard to grasp.

As I lay in bed, listening to the hum of the heater, I felt safe. Today had its challenges, but also good moments. I know Mom is worried, and I wish I could comfort her. But for now, all I can do is try to navigate this big, loud world in my own way.