Personal Gender Equality

Main

Personal gender equality is about treating people of all genders fairly in your day-to-day life and relationships. It means not making assumptions about someone's abilities, interests or roles based on their gender. For instance, in a household with personal gender equality, the division of labor for chores would be based on each person's skills and schedules, not on outdated gender roles of "women's work" or "men's work."

Compared to economic or political gender equality, personal gender equality can be harder to measure and track progress on. That's because it often involves private interactions and unconscious biases that are shaped by lifelong socialization. Traditional gender roles in personal spheres, such as expecting women to perform more childcare and emotional labor, are a main way that gender inequality is established and reinforced. Challenging these roles is key to advancing personal gender equality.

Terms

• Division of labor: The way tasks are divided up between people.
  Example: In a relationship with personal gender equality, the division of labor is based on each person's strengths, not gender roles.

• Economic gender equality: The provision of equal opportunities and outcomes for women and men in the economic sphere.
  Example: Closing the gender pay gap is a key goal of economic gender equality.

• Emotional labor: The often invisible work of managing feelings and social interactions.
  Example: Historically, women have been expected to perform more emotional labor, like remembering birthdays or soothing hurt feelings.

• Gender stereotypes: Oversimplified ideas about the characteristics of males and females.
  Example: A common gender stereotype is that women are naturally more nurturing and men are naturally more logical.

• Political gender equality: The equal participation, representation, and leadership of women in political systems and processes.
  Example: Increasing the number of women in elected office is a step towards political gender equality.

• Socialization: The lifelong process of learning to behave in a way that's acceptable to society.
  Example: Children are often socialized from a young age to conform to traditional gender roles through toys, media, and the examples of adults around them.

Analogy

You can think of personal gender equality like a shared meal. In an equal situation, everyone would contribute what they can to the meal preparation based on their skills and availability. The meal would be enjoyed together, with everyone's contributions being valued. In contrast, a personally gender unequal situation would be like one person being expected to shop, cook, and clean up for every meal based solely on their gender, regardless of their other responsibilities or desires.

Misconception

One misconception about personal gender equality is that it means everything must be split exactly 50/50 between partners. But true equality is about fairness, not rigid math. For example, in a household where one partner works longer hours, it might be fair for the other partner to take on more household management. The key is that these roles are negotiated based on each person's situation, not assumed based on gender.

History

1. Pre-20th century: Strict gender roles in households and personal relationships were the norm.

2. 1960s-1970s: The personal became political. Second-wave feminism argued the personal sphere was a site of gender oppression.

3. 1980s-1990s: Dual-income households became more common, challenging traditional divisions of labor.

4. 2000s-2010s: Same-sex marriage gained legal recognition in many countries, expanding ideas of gender roles in relationships.

5. 2020s-Present: The COVID-19 pandemic spotlighted gender inequalities in household labor. Remote work opens new conversations about work-life balance and gender roles.

How to use it

1. In your romantic relationships, strive to share household responsibilities equitably. Have open conversations with your partner about each of your needs, strengths, and constraints. Divide tasks based on those factors, not assumptions about gender.

2. As a friend, support your friends' personal choices that break gender stereotypes. For example, celebrate your male friend who's a devoted stay-at-home dad or your female friend who's a brilliant engineer.

3. Notice and challenge your own unconscious biases. If you catch yourself making an assumption about someone based on their gender, pause and reconsider. Look for concrete evidence rather than relying on stereotypes.

Facts

• In the U.S., mothers spend about twice as much time on childcare and housework as fathers.

• Globally, women do 2.6 times more unpaid care and domestic work than men.

• Same-sex couples tend to have more equal divisions of labor compared to heterosexual couples.

• Countries with higher levels of gender equality have lower rates of depression for both women and men.

• When fathers take paternity leave and share childcare duties, it can improve couples' relationship satisfaction.